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Sunday, March 4, 2012

No Worries

It's been quite a while since I've posted anything!!  Master of the obvious, I am. LOL  Lots of things going on...Most of it worrisome, at least in my mind!  Truth is, I don't have all that many problems!!
I'll explain more about that in a minute, though...

I've never considered myself much of a worrier.  I'm mostly an eternal optimist, much to the dismay of most of my friends.  "You are the happiest person we've ever known!" people tell me.  So what's got my panties in a wad for the last couple of months?

One...
I worry about not getting much done!!  Last you heard I was struggling to finish projects for classes I was scheduled to teach in January.  My great friend Jennifer, up from Florida to teach also (and nursemaid me!), stayed up with me into the wee hours of the morning two nights in a row, including the night before I taught Sam's Boxer Rebellion.  I didn't get the top completely finished, but I did get the center together.  Crisis averted. Sorta. :-D
The original pattern is "Dizzy Geese" by Joan K. Streck in the book Quick Quilts from Your Scrap Bag.  I haven't decided how to finish it yet, although the original pattern has a fabulous flying geese border.  I worry that it'll be another UFO. :-P

Likewise, another class had an unfinished sample.  My Contrary Wife in Kansas quilt didn't get completed, but there was enough to demonstrate how it goes together to the class.

Two...
I worry about my new business.  I made a major decision a few months after Sam passed away.  They say you should wait a year after a tragedy to make any big changes, but I needed to find a way to do what matters most...bless people! And Mary Kay has given me a platform to do just that.   And I'm loving my new business!!

And I want to do well, as much to honor Sam's memory as to make extra money for my family.  I'm working for some major goals...one of which is a top sales position which would garner me a diamond ring (2.45 carats) and (what I really want:) the opportunity to make a speech to 15,000 women at our annual Seminar!!  (If you don't have a consultant, feel free to follow the link to order products online!)  I'd get to talk about what inspired me; I'd get to talk about Sam! 

It's sometimes hard to be focused, though, when there are other things I want to do.  I was doing some Farmer's Wife blocks at a hotel a couple of weeks ago while Jeff attended meetings.  My poor old sewing machine had been neglected.  Luckily Mary Kay came to the rescue when I didn't have a machine brush handy!! LOL

Three...
I worry about talking about Sam too much.  I told a friend a few days ago that some days missing him is a palpable ache with many tears.  Other days I can laugh and miss him with great joy.  But I worry that his name comes too easily to me.   I worry that I'll bore you and other friends to tears with it.  I've been so excited by the precious gift my friend Pat-from-upstate-New-York arranged for me....the fabulous Judi at Green Fairy Quilts will be quilting Sam's Darlin' Hearts!!!  But I've hated to mention it because this is a blog about quilting, and not about grief or Sam.  He is part of the fabric of my life, so it's OK to share, but I worry that I overdo it.

But it's time for some perspective on my worries!!

"Therefore, I tell you," Jesus taught in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 6, "do not worry about your life..." (v. 25)  The Apostle Peter admonished, "Cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you." (I Peter 5:7) 

And given that tornadoes destroyed some 65 homes and injured 200 or more people this past weekend (including a dear friend's daughter who lost part of her leg) just a couple of miles from my home (and our porch furniture didn't even move! We had NO damage!! Thank the Lord!), my worries seem very small indeed.

What worries you?  Did you know the word "anxieties" in the passage from I Peter can also be interpreted as "divisions"?  It indicates a heart divided...whose focus is on worries or self instead of wholly centered on God. 

So I'm puttin' ol' Bobby McFerrin on in the soundtrack of my mind.  "Don't worry, be happy!"  God is too good and life is too short to worry too much!!

Blessings!!





P.S. A hearty big ol' "Thank you!!" to all you who wrote, worried about me!!!  Your concern and good words were such a blessing!!!  I hope to get back into the swing of things.  :-D  I've missed you all  greatly!

37 comments:

StitchinByTheLake said...

You will never talk too much about Sam. Never. Never. Grief is a strange entity but it is helped by talking and sometimes that even means saying the same thing over and over and over. There are plenty of us out here who are willing to read what you say just as often as you need to say it. Congratulations on the new business. I use some Mary Kay and love what I use. Wouldn't it be awesome if God gave you the opportunity to talk at that conference! blessings, marlene

Sarah Craig said...

Mary Lou, don't ever feel bad about talking about Sam! He is part of your life, and it would be cruel of us to tell you not to talk about him!! Besides, it helps those of us who didn't know him personally learn what a wonderful person he was. I truly enjoy it when you speak of him!! Glad to see you back and hope that all your worries melt away!! You have been missed....

Colleen said...

Im glad you posted. I didnt realize how much I missed hearing your 'voice' until you did. You are amazing and an inspiration to me. As I had my future children taken from me by cancer I have often grieved but no one has ever really understood. So I love when you talk about Sam because it helps me with my unshared grief. I hope you and your family stay safe through the storms. Praying for you.

Kate said...

Oh my dear - if I may, I will share with you that my brother passed away when I was a child. Now it's 40 plus years later, but my mother still says the worst part of his loss was that people stopped talking about him - perhaps they were trying to be thoughtful, but she wanted to talk, and others to talk, about him.

Trust yourself - you will do what you need to do - and you need to do what your body and mind and heart tell you to do. We only know Sam through you - tell us whatever you want... Hugs. Kate

ps so glad Judi is quilting the heart quilt - it will be magnificent!!!

Grammasheri said...

Mary Lou, Sam is your son, this is your blog, we are your loyal readers and friends. Never stop sharing what's on your heart. Who knows who's out there that needs to hear what you have to say, be it raw grief, exuberant joy, quiet reflection? God Himself knows. Keep on being yourself, the Mary Lou He created. We'll be here, listening.

Janet said...

I would be worried if you didn't speak about Sam... he is your son, if he was still living you would speak of him - it is certainly okay to speak of him, even though he is in a different place.

Kathie said...

thanks I am going to be singing that song all day now!
my kids used to love watching that little video of the song!
don't ever feel bad about talking about Sam, you just don't ever want him forgotten, thats very understandable!
I hope you reach your goals with mary kay and I love that your sewing, always interested to see what your working on.
Kathie

Sunnybec said...

You must talk about Sam, it's part of the healing process, no one will get fed up of hearing about him, and the rest of your family. Hugs Linda

Michelle said...

Love your dizzy geese quilt!!
It's wonderful that you can talk about Sam.
Some people wouldn't be able to.
God Bless!

Jane said...

I don't know if I've ever commented on your blog, or how I ever found it, but I follow and I've been wondering if you were alright. Glad you've posted again. I like that you relate the scriptures to your subject and I don't think you talk to much about your son. God bless you!

Debbie said...

It is so good to hear your sweet voice again. You talk about whatever is on your heart here because it is your blog and self expression...and your son is a big part of that. Life takes turns and twists. Let your blog show it.

Shelley said...

I don't think talking about Sam as much as you want can qualify as worrying. It's just part of how you are dealing with his death. As long as your grief is not still the focus of your life, taking about Sam is therapy. It's good to hear from you and see that you are involved in other activities and setting goals. Sometimes excessive worry needs help...I know in my case it did and it was very difficult to admit I needed help to get my worry and anxieties under control. Take care of you first Mary Lou then everything else will fall into place ((HUGS))

Doniene said...

Mary Lou, thank you and bless you for sharing - I needed to hear that!

Blessings lovely lady!

Doniene said...

P.S. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE the quilt in the first picture!! Stunning!!

Lori said...

You know God tells us not to worry, but sometimes we do anyway!!
This is your blog and talking about Sam is a way of grieving. Talk/ type if you need too!
Amazing goals you have - You can do it!!!

Janet O. said...

Mary Lou, I would think this is the ideal place to share your thoughts about Sam when you may be worried that the people around you are hearing about him too much. We will always lend an ear to whatever is on your mind--even non-quilt related. Personally, I have been expecting to hear more about him than we have. I know what heartbreak I would be experiencing if it had been one of my sons, and it is cathartic to be able to get your feelings out to someone, somewhere. Let it be here! Don't bottle it up--we will listen, gladly!
Thank heaven you safely weathered the physical storm around you.
Love the Boxer Rebellion quilt!!

Mad about Craft said...

It is less than a year since Sam died, it is only natural that you need to talk about him. He was your beloved son that was taken from you far too soon and you have to come to terms with that. He is your child and you love him. Keep talking, we'll keep listening.

quiltercaroline said...

Hi So glad to hear from you today. The quilts are amazing! Please don't worry about talking about Sam too much - I don't think you can - and anyway I know I have been blessed from you talking about him on the blog, so keep on blessing people - it is what you want to do and Sam is a big part of that. GB C x

Anonymous said...

Mary Lou, when my brother died of cancer, age 73, ten years older than I was, every time I thought I was thinking/talking too much about him, I clung to a song the late John Wright used to sing: It takes time to learn to say goodbye. You talk about Sam as you need to, I will be here to hear you. Maybe you would, even if it is for once, check out that song, because it is so true about grieving. There is no settled time for grieving, everybody reacts differently to a loss, there is no "wrong" way to grieve.

Shelia said...

I found your blog thru your block for the Fat Quarter Star Quilt Along. I read about your loss and started to check in regularly and even though I hadn't been following very long I got used to reading about your daily life. I was concerned for you when there were no posts and truly hoped you would come back when you could. I hope you don't mind my opinion as I am a newbie here. I think it is very natural for you to talk about Sam, he was and still is, and will always be your son, a part of you and your family. Just because his work here is done doesn't mean he's any less your son. I think you should follow your heart and write the things that are important to you and let us all know a small part of Sam. Please forgive me if I have offended or overstepped in any way. I do enjoy this place and will continue to come back again and again.
May you find peace and happiness in the Lord.
Shelia
P.S. I love Sam's Hearts and the flying geese (sorry I forgot it's name) quilts.

Cheryl's Teapots2Quilting said...

I would think that it would be hard to finish Sam's Boxer Rebellion. It would mean it was the end of a chapter. It's not a door you can really close. He was your son. A part of you like your arm. It would be strange if you didn't mention him. He will always be a part of you, even though he is gone. NEVER forgotten. Good luck in Mary Kay. My best friend sells it, too. BTW, I just love Sam's Boxer Rebellion quilt. Wow! It's stunning!

soren2go said...

You can never talk too much about someone you love who is gone from you. Grief catches you at unexpected moments. I get more concerned if a day goes by and Stephen's name has not come to mind. But I know he is forever in my heart. Let Sam lead you in sharing.

LuAnn said...

Hi MaryLou So nice to hear from you and that you are ok. Sam will always be a part of you, and you never talk about him too much. I think part of what makes us all friends in blog land is getting to know each other through the good times and the bad. Bless you.

Taryn said...

I hope you keep talking about Sam whenever he is on your mind. I appreciate the reminder to keep you, Sam and your family in my prayers. Most of us are mothers and know that you need to think and talk of him. My mother was devastated to lose my brother and I remember her chatting away about him but also the slight nervousness that maybe her audience didn't want to hear it. Please don't worry about that one - I love hearing what a special young man he was.

Carol said...

I read about a lady who filled 4 notebooks after the loss of her daughter. It was her way of coping with the grief. She said she also did it out of fear of forgetting. (As if one ever could.)
We love your sweet stories, and look forward to them. BIG hugs!

angiejmq said...

I can't tell you how happy I am to see a new post from you! I'm so glad everything is ok. Sounds like you've been very busy (as have I, which is why my posting is behind as well). You and I are kind of in the same stage..kids are growing up and we start exploring, "what's next?" So many options and choices..I'm so thankful that He promises to give us wisdom when we ask. :) I want to eventually teach some quilting classes at our local community college, but have decided it will have to wait until my youngest graduates from homeschooling. Something to look forward too...

kathyros said...

Morning - I was so relieved to see your blog here this morning, I was worried about you. I look forward to hearing about what is happening in your world and you are very inspirational to me. Never ever worry that you speak of Sam too much, all us Mums out here in blog land have heart aches for you. Keep talking about him, he is always with you, thats why he is always on your mind.
Big hugs
Kathy (Australia)

ladibug said...

I ditto all the comments about Sam.
but thank you for your words of wisdom, on Worry. I forgot, and have to, head to--- I decide to let God Have it all. again. thank you.
I will rememmber God has our Back and Bussinesses and Lives so we can share His words with others.

the ark said...

Talk about your beautiful son as much as you want! Your true friends want you to heal as much as possible and talking about your son will help this to happen. We out here in blogland all worry about you so much...and I have only been a follower of yours for just over a year---imagine how much others care about you! Take care of yourself and try not to worry so much!
Tricia

Michelle said...

I love it when you talk about Sam...I am blessed just to hear about his amazing life on this earth. I love the Dizzy Geese quilt you are making with his boxers...it's beautiful! Thank you for sharing your heart so beautifully through your words. Your strength, joy, and faith just flow through the words. Good to see you back on the blog...I've thought about you many times and would check to see if you had an update. God bless!

Teresa said...

I'm glad you are OK...I was thinking about you. Then I disappeared for a while because my mom passed away. Now that I am back, I'm glad YOU are back! You don't talk too much about Sam...I know I can't process stuff unless I AM talking about it...and that goes for stupid unimportant stuff. Sam is still part of your life...he always will be, and we all need to talk about our lives, don't we?!? Good luck with the new career path...I am always impressed with anyone who knows what to do with make-up (I am the perfect candidate for that TLC show, "What Not To Wear," and would love to have that calibre of wardrobe, hair and make-up education WITHOUT being embarrassed by being actually PUT on the show!!! LOL!! I was so impressed with your glamorous head shot that you posted some time ago...you can talk and talk AND walk the walk...WORK IT, BABY! I just know you will make all your goals!

In stitches (and your sister-from-another-mister),
Teresa :o)

Candy said...

I love hearing about Sam. It is probably better for you that you do talk about him. It is good to see you back.

Natasha said...

I was just thinking about you after realizing I have not read any recent posts. I hope you are well. I love hearing about your love for Sam. You couldn't talk to much about him. I love that you have turned his boxers into something so beautiful! My step-father died in January, and one of the first things I did was to gather his shirts from the cloest. I turned them into a lap quilt for my mother. You turned something that might have been tossed to something that is a work of art!

Phyllis said...

I love when you talk about your Sam. I lost my oldest grandson, who is also Sam, at birth in 1999 and everytime you mention your son, I know they are enjoying heaven and being with each other. My family always handled grief by never talking about the person who was no longer with us until then, but Sam's mother and I mention him often and remember him always.

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